I Asked for More Money and I Didn’t Apologize
They negotiated the way they were taught. I responded the way I’ve grown to lead with boundaries, not bitterness.
There’s this moment when your heart pounds a little faster, your email’s still in drafts, and your brain whispers:
“What if they get upset or worst mad and walk away?”
I have been there …
I was negotiating the licensing of a photo. A production company reached out to use one of my images in an upcoming series. At first, the ask was simple “one-time streaming use for two photos, on two separate episodes.” I quoted a fair, clear licensing fee for two photos based on that scope. They sent over their release for me to sign.
But here’s where it started to change. The contract they sent didn’t match the scope we discussed. It included worldwide, perpetual rights across all platforms, plus potential for promotional use.
Oh, and the fee I quoted was too low for what was in the release agreement/contract they sent over.
Cue the internal Spiral:
Am I overreacting?
Should I just say yes to get my name out there?
Am I being too much? Too picky? Too sensitive?
And then the classic fear-for-no-reason voice: “They’re going to yell at you.”
But this time… I didn’t rush to make it okay for everyone else.
I paused. I checked in. I remembered what I teach other people to do.
And I did it for myself. #ThrivLIFE
What I Actually Did:
I reread the contract. Slowly.
I clarified what the scope actually was based on what they were asking for now, not what they originally said.
I wrote back with two options, both professional and kind, that reflected the value of the image based on the expanded usage and I included a rider defining the terms that reflected the licensing they said they need.
I didn’t apologize for my quote. I didn’t try to justify my pricing with a nervous paragraph of over-explaining.
I offered choice. I gave them clarity. I stayed open and grounded and true to my value.
And this brings me to the real success of this situation. It was an experience I was curating, applying Creative Adaptive Intelligence and my framework to aligned action.
Yes, The win wasn’t about getting the deal.
In fact as I write this article we are actually still in negotiations!
The win is, I didn’t abandoning myself or my value!
I didn’t shrink to stay safe. I offered clarity, generosity, and choice.
And I’m proud of how I showed up. Not because it was perfect, but because it was true.
They could accept. They could walk away. They could still try to negotiate down.
But whatever they choose. I am celebrating the success that I was true to me first!
I didn’t hustle for worth.
I didn’t collapse my boundaries for the sake of being nice.
I didn’t ghost myself just to get the gig.
There were definitely moments I could have gotten salty.
They came at me with price nudges, like “we normally only pay…” lines. The scope creeping in to broaden the usage disguised as “just one more platform.” These are classic strategic moves in negotiation. They even passed the baton to new people as I held my ground with each email exchange.
And hey, old me might’ve spiraled in defense. I might’ve over-explained, dropped my rate, or sent a “no worries at all!!” email while internally screaming into the void.
But here’s the plot twist: I didn’t take it personally. Because it wasn’t.
They weren’t trying to be shady, I honestly believe that! They were just playing by the industry script. The one that says: “Ask for more, pay less, smile often.” I’ve seen it before. I’ve even believed it before.
But not this time.
This time, I stayed rooted in what was fair, not only to me but what was industry standards. Clear on my value. Holding true genuinely wanting to be collaborative, but not bendy. Not flinching. Not performing. Just clarity with alignment.
This Is Creative Adaptive Intelligence in Real Life
This wasn’t just a contract conversation. It was a moment of Creative Adaptive Intelligence (CAI) in motion.
CAI is the art of showing up in the unknown without defaulting to fear or performance.
Knowing what’s yours to hold and what you can smile at and let slide right on past without taking it personal.
Negotiation isn’t a power play when you already know your worth. It’s just a conversation where you don’t have to shrink!
It’s what allows us to pause instead of react with haste. To make decisions from clarity, not desperation. To lead with integrity, even when the outcome isn’t guaranteed.
This is what living a #ThrivLIFE looks like:
🌱 Leading from the inside out
💛 Making decisions that nourish, not deplete
💜 Taking aligned action without needing a guarantee
🩵 Letting growth happen in the uncomfortable middle not just at the finish line
There’s no formula. No one-size-fits-all path.
Just a moment-by-moment return
to what’s real.
to what’s yours.
to what’s true.
So if you’re somewhere between holding your ground and holding your breath…
You’re not behind.
You’re not doing it wrong.
You might just be in the exact place your next Creative Return is trying to take root.
If you’ve ever typed “no worries at all!!” while screaming internally—this is your sign. The Creative Return is for you.
Clarity You Can Carry – my free guide to reground your values when the overthinking kicks in
Learn more about your Creative Return – if you’re ready to lead from wholeness (and hit Send without spiraling)