When Old Habits Are Stubborn AF
and there is no off switch for my brain!
Tired of affirmations falling flat? Join me to uncover the stories holding back your confidence and level up for real change.
🗓 Next Workshop: Wednesday, October 30th
Hey Thrivster!
Ever find yourself really wanting to change the way you talk to yourself, but somehow, those same old limiting stories keep creeping back in? No matter how hard you try, you hear that voice saying, “Hey, I thought we kicked you out!” But here we are, side-eyeing those familiar stories, like, “Didn't I tell you to leave already?”
I get it. It's frustrating! You know these stories aren’t doing you any favors, but they pop up on autopilot like they’ve been invited to the party.
So, let’s talk about why it’s so hard to break these patterns, and more importantly, how we can start rewriting a story that actually serves us.
Your Self-Talk Is a Habit (and yes, it’s been around a while)
Let’s get real: the way you talk to yourself is a habit. Just like brushing your teeth or scrolling through Instagram first thing in the morning, it’s something you’ve been doing for years—maybe even decades! So yeah, it feels true because it’s been running on freakin’ repeat.
Ever have those moments when something doesn’t go as planned, and you automatically say, “I’m not good enough,” or “I always mess things up”?
Or that sneaky one, when someone pays you a great compliment: “I’m trying!”
These thoughts are so ingrained that they feel like second nature. But here’s the truth: you didn’t just wake up one day with these stories—they’ve been practiced over time.
Changing this kind of habit isn’t easy. It takes time, patience, and a whole lot of persistence. And when you start noticing how often these thoughts pop up, it can feel overwhelming and downright frustrating AF.
But just noticing them is a win! In fact, getting frustrated about it too is a bonus! It means you’re paying attention and ready for a change! Stay with me here!
Self-Awareness: The MVP of Breaking the Cycle
Here’s the kicker: self-awareness is your secret weapon. And yes, it’s a skill—one that needs sharpening over time. The more you practice it, the easier it becomes to catch yourself mid-negative thought, and the quicker you can pivot.
But let’s be real—it’s not easy. When you first start paying attention, those limiting thoughts are going to show up A LOT. And you’ll probably think, “Ugh, I should be better at this by now!”
Nope. You’re human, and breaking habits takes time. Be kind to yourself in the process.
Self-awareness is a flex—the more you use it, the stronger it gets. And here’s another truth: a lot of those limiting beliefs aren’t even yours. Some of them have been passed down, generation after generation. So, you’re not just breaking a habit—you’re breaking the family legacy of self-doubt. No pressure, right?
Generational Habits & Primal Survival Mode
Let’s talk about those generational patterns. Maybe your grandparents held onto a limiting belief from back in the day. They were just trying to survive the hardships of life—war, depression, scarcity. These stories they told to protect the people they loved were passed down to your parents, who then passed them to you.
But here’s the thing: those same hardships didn’t come with the stories. Not to say we don’t have our own set of challenges, but we don’t need to battle the hardships of our past generations and our own.
And then there’s our primal brain, wired for survival. Back in the day, our ancestors needed to stay alert, cautious, and yes, a little pessimistic to avoid getting eaten by predators. These primal instincts have morphed into anxieties and worry—like, “waiting for the other shoe to drop” kind of things.
Whew! You’re not out here dodging saber-tooth tigers anymore! Your life isn’t about survival anymore. It’s about thriving.
So, as you work on changing your self-talk, remember to give yourself grace. You’re not just changing a habit—you’re rewiring patterns that go way back.
Be kind! Embrace your humaness.
And you’ve got amazing ancestors who ensured your existence. It’s time to really live your life, safe from wild bears and wolves!
The Key: Kindness and Empathy (Yes, for Yourself!)
So, what do you do when those limiting stories keep showing up like an unwanted guest? I challenge you not to get mad at yourself. Instead, get curious.
Where did these stories come from?
Are they even yours?
How are they serving you?
What false truths are they protecting?
Then settle into patience as the realization of the questions lead you new ways to approach your life and level up your thriving game—habits don’t change overnight.
You wouldn’t expect to break a years-long habit of biting your nails in just a week, right? The same goes for self-talk.
Here’s a way I like to approach shifting the game:
Celebrate Awareness: Every time you catch yourself in a negative thought loop, give yourself credit. Awareness is the first (and most important) step. High five for catching it!
Pause & Breathe: When you notice negativity creeping in, pause. Breathe. Remember, this is a process. Take your time. And if you really want to shake things up? Move your body—go for a quick walk, stretch, or get some fresh air. Moving your body helps reset your mind.
Reframe with Kindness (or even humor): Instead of forcing yourself to think positively, soften your language. Reach for a small, better version of what you’re saying. Or find humor and laugh at yourself. If you’re telling yourself, “I am so stupid,” try reframing it with something kinder, like, “I’m learning, and it’s okay to make mistakes.” Or bring in humor—“Oops, I did it again!” (Cue Britney Spears impersonation.) Boom! You’ve got humor and you’re moving your body.
In my next workshop this month I will get letting you in on my tricks and next best statements that help me stay kinder to myself.Embrace the Process: You’re undoing years—maybe even generations—of conditioning. It’s not going to happen overnight. But each small step you take is moving you toward a new, more empowering story.
From Limiting Stories to Motivating Ones
As you work on changing your self-talk, remember that every time you choose a new story, you’re getting closer to the life you want. You’re building a mindset that not only motivates you but actually aligns with your dreams and goals.
The more you practice speaking kindly to yourself, the easier it becomes. You’ll start naturally choosing the better story. And while it may not happen overnight, with time, patience, and persistence, you’ll start to feel the shift.
You are the author of your life’s story. Your words matter—especially the ones you say to yourself. And in my book, those words are most important.
And the next time you catch yourself falling back into those old stories? Maybe try to laugh it off. Seriously, laughter tends to make the shift happen faster. It's incredible ... just like you!
ThrivON! Jenn
P.S. Still feeling stuck in the self-talk loop? Join my upcoming workshop on rewriting your inner narrative. Tip, tools, process, and concepts to help own the narrative and lead your business to new growth!
I have earned a few credits today already!